BAD KITTY CAT

I grab the neck of that darn cat Sassy and ring it and toss his head around just a little bit. I’m forever having to spank him; sometimes people say it’s too hard.

What do expect from the “owner” when he misbehaves? Sassy is incessantly at my feet either paw-pickin’ my socks which is okay I guess but it’s a precursor of him attacking my ankle – for cryin’ out loud, I can feel his teeth on my skin! Bad kitty.

His harassment starts early in the morning, well before sunrise, like at 530am. He is so persistent in trying to get fed before breakfast the 7am breakfast. For a Siamese cat that hasn’t yet developed into the typical yowler, he sure makes his voice heard loud, clear and annoying. Some days I have to kick him. Sorry but that’s the way it is. We’re still trying to work out the details about it being my house but his domain.

Once his tummy is fed, Sassy exposes that same tummy trying to be so loving but his selfish goal is get me to assist him in stretching. I will say that with my training he does have very good form, his leg muscles well toned.

When he was just a couple weeks old and in my possession, he was named, not by creative intuition but because it was so obvious he was born to be a ‘sassy boy’.

After three years he’s no longer that little kitten that fit in the palm of my hand. He is one big boy now, barely able to fit on my lap. But he is so determined to harass me in any way he possibly can that after a while my legs go numb because the weight is so burdensome. It’s real nice when he decides to clean himself while I’m in such misery for lack of blood to my legs, or he falls limp in deep sleep for whatever length of time that serves his purpose. I tell ya, bad kitty!

It’s when he’s in a docile mood that I make my move and clench my hands around his neck and feel the softness of his hair. I feign anger and shake his head just a little bit but he’s too busy doing nothing to make a response. I don’t really need a reason but that’s when the spanking begins. Witnesses would claim that the soft pats are okay but when the butt thumpin’ begins they protest that it’s too hard, stop it! Bud Sassy makes no move to escape; he’s just at peace with the world around him as he could possibly be. Actually, he loves the touchy-feely strokes and body scratching. He doesn’t even flinch – he’s that comfortable with my loving hands.

And the gnawing at the ankles? Just when I think it might hurt, the tickling begins. He makes me chuckle every time. The stretching? He does it on his own but I help a little bit too when he looks at me on his side and his body language is almost pleading me to be his assistant in training. He’ll do this a few times every day.

Bad kitty? No. Good kitty!

Now, the morning food situation is all too real. Excuse me but I just have to find my Sassy cat and give him a good spanking. I good spanking indeed!